Earlier in the week I was pondering the question of what is it that I do? At any given time I can be a life coach, a carer, an artist, a mum, a teacher or an urban farmer (I’m sure there’s others that I’ve forgotten too!)
I used to freeze when someone asked me ‘What do you do?’ because I never really knew what to say. I didn’t want to be defined by what I did but I also wasn’t sure which activity I should answer with. I had an either/or mentality where I should just choose one thing and surely if I did that thing then I couldn’t do the others too.
I remember when I was struggling with a different issue and speaking to a wise person about it. I felt I had to make a choice between two scenarios and each one would involve a keen sense of loss for the option that I didn’t choose. I was asked the question ‘Is this an either/or situation or is there the possibility it could be a both/and?’
It felt like a lightbulb went on in my head!
Not every situation in life was either/or. Some definitely are but some could be both/and!! This opened up a world of possibilities and suddenly when I looked at the various components of my life I could see that I didn’t have to choose one above another, they could all co-exist together.
The power of a good question!
The next question that made the lightbulb shine even brighter was, ‘What is your why?’ A much more interesting question than ‘what do you do?’
Why do I do the things I do?
I’ve thought about this a lot and when I was in post chemo recovery it was a question I would come back almost daily to help me create something of a mission statement for who I wanted to be and what dreams I wanted to chase once I was well again.
I’m motivated by a strong desire to nurture and encourage and to see things thrive. Whether that’s people, my tomato plants or our ducklings, I love to see growth and a journey of fulfilled potential. I’m passionate about family and seeing mums and dads enjoy parenthood and feel encouraged and empowered to confidently raise their children. I also want to play my part in seeing people live joyful lives where they are sure of their purpose and have the confidence to walk in it.
Knowing my why helps to make sense of all the different parts of my life. I can see that although they look quite diverse there is a common thread running through them and they are all an expression of why I do things.
Good questions helped me get here. So did the process of sitting in the discomfort of not immediately knowing the answers and sifting through my thoughts and preconceptions about what should be the answers until I found what mattered to me.
I wish you the same journey and life giving realisations.
Let me know if I can help.